English version
translated by Nikmah Sarjono
He wants to buy himself new trousers
To wear for a party
So that he would look handsome
And convincing.
He tried on a hundred models of trousers
In a hundred men-shops
yet he found not a single model
Fit for him.
In fact, before the eyes of the shopkeepers
Who persuaded him to buy their trousers,
he took off his own, and threw it out.
“Don’t you all have any idea,
that I am looking for the most appropriate
trousers to wear on a funeral?!”
He ran out,
Without his trousers
And wandered around
Looking for his mother’s grave
Only to ask,
“Mother, where did you keep my cute trousers
I wore when I was a little baby?”
1996
Celana (1)
Ia ingin membeli celana baru
buat pergi ke pesta
supaya tampak lebih tampan
dan meyakinkan.
Ia telah mencoba seratus model celana
di berbagai toko busana
namun tak menemukan satupun
yang cocok untuknya.
Bahkan di depan pramuniaga
yang merubung dan membujuk-bujuknya
ia malah mencopot celananya sendiri
dan mencampakkannya.
“Kalian tidak tahu ya
aku sedang mencari celana
yang paling pas dan pantas
buat nampang di kuburan.”
Lalu ia ngacir
tanpa celana
dan berkelana
mencari kubur ibunya
hanya untuk menanyakan,
“Ibu, kau simpan di mana celana lucu
yang kupakai waktu bayi dulu?”
1996
The Newspaper Boy
translated by Nikmah Sarjono
Very early in the morning, that newspaper boy always appears in my front door
Passes me the day newspaper and says: “Don’t believe in newspaper,
They only print lies”.
At the end of each month, when I pay him my newspaper bills,
He never forgets to say: “Don’t believe in newspapers,
They are all liars”.
One day, that newspaper boy who never reads a newspaper,
Died, hit by a reporter’s car. His body lies on the sidewalk,
Only covered by a newspaper sheet
People pretended to take care of his body, and of course,
Some of them even have their eyes on his wallet.
I didn’t know who took his body home, but everytime
I read a newspaper, I feel like as if I was carrying
That poor newspaper boy’s body, walking down every
Noisy alley and musty quarters of words, and after
A long day walk, I finally found a small place
To bury him.
Every Lebaran I visit his grave, through the dark lanes
In the middle of the quiet graveyards of words,
I saw his tomb, almost covered by wild grass.
There is no moon above the tomb.
2001
Loper Koran
Pagi-pagi sekali loper koran itu sudah nongol di depan pintu,
menaruh koran di pangkuanku seraya berpesan:
"Jangan percaya koran. Koran cuma bohong-bohongan."
Dan setiap akhir bulan, saat menerima uang langganan,
ia tak pernah lupa mengingatkan: "Jangan percaya koran.
Koran cuma bohong-bohongan."
Suatu siang loper koran yang tak pernah membaca koran itu
mati ketabrak mobil wartawan. Tubuhnya digeletakkan
di pinggir jalan dan hanya ditutupi selembar koran.
Banyak yang pura-pura sibuk mengurusnya dan, tentu saja,
ada yang diam-diam mengincar dompetnya.
Aku tak tahu siapa yang mengantar pulang jasadnya,
tapi setiap membaca koran aku seperti sedang mengantar
jenazah loper koran yang malang itu, menyusuri gang
demi gang di tengah perkampungan kata-kata yang bising
dan pengap, dan setelah muter-muter seharian akhirnya
kutemukan sedikit tempat untuk menguburkannya.
Setiap lebaran aku menyempatkan diri ziarah ke makamnya,
menyusuri lorong-lorong gelap di tengah kuburan kata-kata
yang luas dan lengang dan kudapatkan nisan kecilnya
hampir tertutup ilalang. Tak ada bulan di atas kuburan
2001
Debt
translated by Nikmah Sarjono
That poor man encouraged himself to visit his old friend
Who once was poor, but now is rich.
‘What harm can be done by visiting a rich friend?’ he thinks,
‘A rich man feels lonely too sometime’.
Just when his feet were about to take a step into his friend’s door,
His friend snarled: “You’re coming here to remind me of my old
Debt to you, aren’t you?! My debt when I was poor?!
Here, I pay my debt now, four times the amount you lent me back then,
Do you understand?!”
That poor man tappped his friend’s shoulder and calmly said:
“Don’t worry, I came here only to tell you that I already
discharge you from your old debt to me. I probably will die
tomorrow, do you understand?”
His old friend startled and suddenly felt that his debt is now
Becoming more and more increasing
That poor man is now standing in the mirror in front of me.
He said hello, and I feel stabbed by his smile.
1999
Utang
Orang miskin itu memberanikan diri bertamu ke sahabatnya
yang dulu miskin tapi sekarang kaya raya
Tak ada jeleknya menghibur orang kaya, pikirnya.
Orang kaya toh sering kesepian juga.
Baru saja melangkah ke ambang pintu,
tuan rumah langsung menyergapnya: "Kau ke sini cuma mau menagih
utang kan? Utang lama kan? Waktu aku masih miskin kan?
Aku akan lunasi sekarang, sekian lipat dari yang kupinjam. Paham?"
Sambil menepuk-nepuk bahu tuan rumah yang pemberang
tamu itu menjelaskan: "Jangan berburuk sangka. Saya ke sini
cuma mau bilang bahwa utang itu sudah saya ikhlaskan.
Besok saya mungkin sudah mati. Paham?"
Tuan rumah terpana dan merasa utangnya makin bertambah saja.
Tamu miskin itu sekaran berdiri di dalam cermin di hadapan saya.
Ia mengucapkan hallo, dan saya merasa tertusuk oleh senyumnya.
1999
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