Dorothea Rosa Herliany (1)

Secret Sex Telegrams

i sent you telegrams of desire, some powerful current flowed to
the brain,
somehow, i searched for love in one explosion after another.
i found one disappointment after another.

i sent thundreds of tiny screams into the closed waves.
they beat against the walls and my doubts, i gave you
millions of uncertain kisses, fire flowed from my closed eyes.

i sent you a sheaf of telegrams of love: in my sweat
and wild breathing, all that remained was a row of unspoken
sentences
and bubble upon bubble of poisonous hatred.
then i wrote a disgustingly obscene story
about a gentle rabbit dressed in flesh
and the passage of "the man with the golden gun".
i sent it to the scene of the most stupid sex possible.

why should you curse this tiny pleasure, especially as you hide
the barking of dogs and the shrill whinny of horses
between the pages of your scriptures
and in the graffiti written on the walls of your temples.

rest in my crotch, little man.
before you curse a corner of your cold mirror
before i hunt you down: before i kill you
with my arrow soaked in the poison of hundreds of snakes.
then, with a flick of my finger, throw your body
into the smiling hole of my most stupid pleasure.

February'2000

Telegram Gelap Persetubuhan

kukirim telegram cinta, untuk sesuatu yang deras, mengalir ke ubun,
yang ganjil. yang kucari dalam ledakanledakan. yang kutemukan
dalam kekecewaan demi kekecewaan.

kukirim beratus teriakan kecil dalam gelombang takberpintu.
membenturbentur dinding dan kesangsian. kuberikan berdesimal
ciuman bimbang. sampai hangat membakar dari mata terpejamku.

kukirim sebaris telgram cinta: lewat lelehan keringat dan
dengus nafas liarku. yang menyisakan sebaris kalimat bisu
dalam gelembung racun kebendan.
dan setelah itu kutulis cerita cabul yang memualkan,
tentang seekor kelinci lemah berbaju gumpalan daging
dalam sederet langkah "the man with the golden gun".
kukirim ke alamat persetubuhan paling dungu.

mengapa kaukutuk kesenangan kecil ini. sambil kausembunyikan
lolongan anjing dan ringkik kuda sembrani dalam berhalaman kitab
atau berbaris grafiti di dinding luar menara.

diamlah dalam kelangkangku, lelaki.
sebelum kaukutuk sebagian fragmen dalam cermin bekumu,
sebelum aku menjadi pemburu sejati: untuk membidikkan panah
yang kurendam racun beratus ular berbisa.
dan kibas jariku melemparkan bangkaimu
ke lubuk senyum nikmatku paling dungu.

Februari, 2000.